Top 10 Funniest Athlete Quotes

Football season is here and basketball is right around the corner. Luckily for us, whenever these stars align we are in for some high comedy. This is especially true this year when Chad Ochocinco and Terrel Owens (above), two of the biggest characters in the NFL, find themselves playing for the same team. Before the season has started, the Bengals already lead the league in number of players with VH1 reality shows. Without further ado, we are pleased to present The Headless Threadsmen list of the 10 funniest athlete quotes of all time. Disclaimer: Academy Cotton and The Headless Threadsmen do not endorse the outfit choices of Terrell Owens.

10. “Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.”—David Thompson

9."I've won at every level, except college and pro."--Shaquille O'Neal 

8. "Because there are no fours."—NBA long-range gunner Antoine Walker when asked why he shoots so many threes.

7. “I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.”—Pitcher Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.

6. “We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.”—Basketball player Weldon Drew

5. "They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids."--Baseball player Tito Fuentes after getting hit by a pitch.

4. "I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five."--Charles Barkley

3. After an Olympic Dream Team victory over Angola, in which they won 116-48, Charles got into a physical altercation with a member of Angola towards the end of the game, afterwards he says: "Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me."

2. "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."--Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gators fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books.

1. "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."--Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D.